Most families delay discussing senior care until a crisis forces them to make rushed decisions, but experts say that waiting too long can create lasting stress and financial strain for everyone involved.

Tatyana Zlotsky, CEO of A Place for Mom in New York City, told Fox News Digital that 77 percent of the families she works with wish they had started those talks earlier. Planning in advance, she said, allows families to explore options, understand costs, and respect an older loved one’s preferences while there’s still time to choose thoughtfully.

“If you think about this being an extremely stressful, financially burdensome decision already, doing it under the duress of a medical emergency makes it 10 times worse,” Zlotsky explained. “And yet most families are still not taking action.”

The financial toll can be steep. According to Zlotsky, family caregivers lose an average of $21,000 each year when they cut back on work to care for aging relatives. This, she noted, compounds the emotional pressure when families wait until an emergency to intervene.

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Part of the delay often stems from burnout. Zlotsky said many adult children are already stretched thin and find it hard to anticipate problems in advance. “They’re already dealing with so much, it’s nearly impossible for them to predict the situation sooner,” she said.

She described the process as a major shift in family dynamics. “It’s a reconfiguration of a parent‑child relationship,” she said. “The parent wants to maintain their independence, the child becomes the one providing the care. And so the senior resists this at all costs, and the adult child is not sure how to have the conversation.”

Zlotsky warned that waiting until after a fall or hospitalization is a critical mistake. Instead, she advised families to look for subtle signs of cognitive decline or difficulties with executive functioning, which may show up long before noticeable memory loss.

“Maybe Mom has made the same pot of coffee for the last 20 years,” she said. “Now all of a sudden she doesn’t drink coffee anymore... the truth might be that it takes five steps to fill the coffee maker... and her executive functioning skills are failing her.”

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She encouraged family members to observe carefully during everyday visits and to seek professional input when they notice changes. “You can’t be required as a caregiver to diagnose Mom or Dad,” Zlotsky added. “You really have to be able to get consultation.”

Talking early offers another important advantage: it gives older parents the chance to express what kind of care they want and who should provide it. “Your parents do have opinions on how they want to be taken care of, and what that looks like and who does it,” Zlotsky said. “It’s really about having the courage to start that conversation and engaging in it.”

Breaking through the discomfort, she emphasized, can spare families from desperate decisions later on. “If you can break through that ice and really get to the core of what they need and want, it can make the financial and emotional journey much easier,” she told Fox News Digital.

Zlotsky’s advice underscores the value of open, honest communication long before a health emergency. By acknowledging changes early and approaching the conversation with understanding, families can make choices that respect both independence and safety.

She believes that the earlier families face the issue, the less likely they are to be forced into rushed, emergency care arrangements. And with planning, the experience can focus on compassion rather than crisis.

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