Relationships between older women and younger men are receiving more attention as familiar expectations about dating and age begin to loosen. Sexologist and relationship therapist Tammy Nelson says the attraction may have far more to do with communication, confidence and life experience than appearance.

Nelson, a board certified sexologist, sex therapist and integrative relationship therapist in Los Angeles, told Fox News Digital that she has noticed greater interest in relationships involving older women and younger men.

“Older women and younger men are now a thing,” Nelson said. “I know a lot of older women, even my age, that are dating or … being attracted to younger men.”

Recent polling suggests that some dating app users are becoming more open to relationships across age differences. A 2023 Bumble poll involved 26,849 users from more than 20 countries.

The poll found that 59% of women were more open to dating someone younger. Another 35% said they had become less judgmental about relationships involving an age gap.

A 2025 study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences also examined age and attraction. The study included adults ages 22 to 85 and measured initial attraction after blind dates, rather than outcomes in long term relationships.

Researchers found that men and women were both slightly more attracted to younger partners. Paul Eastwick, a psychology professor at the University of California, Davis, and the study’s lead author, said the finding could challenge popular assumptions.

“This preference for youth among women will be shocking to many people,” Eastwick said in a university news release. “But women’s preferences on the dates themselves revealed something else entirely.”

A separate 2024 analysis examined nearly 36,000 couples across 29 European countries. It found that women’s tendency to choose slightly older men shifted toward partners of the same age as the women grew older.

Taken together, the findings do not prove that relationships between older women and younger men are definitively increasing. They do suggest, however, that the traditional pattern involving older men and younger women may be less rigid than commonly believed.

Nelson said women can become more comfortable expressing their sexuality as they age. That confidence may help create a relationship in which sexual needs and desires are discussed more openly.

“As women grow into their bodies, grow into their sexuality, we become less concerned with how other people see us,” Nelson said. “And then we discover that being sexy is an inside job.”

A 2026 Ashley Madison survey found that 45% of the dating site’s female members said they reached their sexual prime at age 40 or older. Nelson said her conversations with couples suggest younger men may be attracted to older women because those women can feel more comfortable communicating their sexual needs.

Some women are also entering a different phase of life after raising children, which may mean younger partners face less pressure concerning marriage. Nelson described these couples as participating as equal partners.

“It comes back to this place where you realize you deserve pleasure,” Nelson said. “And what does pleasure look like? That's a whole new fun phase of life.”

Relationships involving an age difference can still bring complications, especially when couples are considering a future together. Nelson said differences involving life stage, finances and caregiving expectations can become sources of tension.

Couples may also hold different views about marriage, children, retirement and long term plans. Cultural references can create another divide when partners grew up with different music, experiences and familiar touchstones.

“It can be frustrating to be with someone who doesn't know who the Grateful Dead is, who's never been to a Rolling Stones concert or just doesn't know your level of cultural references,” Nelson said. “There's something comforting about being with someone who grew up in the same world that you did.”

At the same time, Nelson said those contrasts can create opportunities for partners to exchange perspectives. “You can teach each other and share with each other a different perspective about the world,” she said.

Nelson also suggested couples could share playlists and discover new music together. Her broader message was that women should not assume desire and intimacy disappear at a particular age.

“We used to think that you hit menopause, and you went off the cliff and that was it,” Nelson said. “And it's just not the case now.”

For Nelson, continuing to seek intimacy and pleasure is part of continuing to feel fully engaged with life. “If we're going to be alive, we want to feel alive.”