Parenting involves constant learning, especially while raising a 7 year old through tantrums, meltdowns and other emotional storms. Teachers, psychologists and caregivers have shown me practical ways to help my son navigate feelings that can seem much bigger than he is.

The surprise is how often I need the same strategies. Adults can become so absorbed in daily demands that they fail to notice their own emotional struggles, said Dr. Jessi Gold, chief wellness officer for the University of Tennessee System and associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Tennessee Health Sciences in Memphis.

“We are really focused on the task, not the person doing the task.” Gold said parents teach children that their feelings are valid and respond with compassion, “but we don’t do that to ourselves.”

That realization encouraged me to borrow calming techniques meant for children. These approaches do not require being a parent, because the underlying problems, including stress, frustration, hunger and difficult transitions, are hardly limited to childhood.

The first strategy is giving myself a timeout before I lose control. When demands become overwhelming, particularly when my child needs more than I can provide in that moment, stepping away can prevent me from yelling, “Could everyone just shut up?!”

Gold called this a “preemptive time-out,” explaining that leaving the source of intense stress or emotion creates an opportunity to cool down before saying something regrettable. Sometimes I simply send myself to my room.

Physical escape is not always possible, however. In those moments, saying “I need a minute,” can create enough breathing room to collect myself before responding.

Another useful technique came from a preschool handout about helping small children handle outsized reactions. Children can greet spilled milk with enormous intensity, but adults can also obsess over tiny mistakes, turn minor problems into major ones and devote excessive energy to low stakes choices.

Now I ask myself whether I am facing a big problem or a little one. If it is little, I can handle it quickly, decide it does not require action or simply stop allowing it to occupy so much mental space.

Transitions offer another lesson. Moving from playtime to dinner or stopping to put on shoes can trigger tantrums in children, according to the Child Mind Institute, a mental health nonprofit, and a warning such as “Five more minutes of playing, then we’re leaving the park.” can help prepare them.

Adults may benefit from similar structure. Gold said schedules make a child’s day predictable and clarify expectations, and adults can extend themselves that same courtesy.

With help from a therapist who specializes in ADHD, I learned that I need my own countdown. I can become deeply focused, lose track of time and discover that 75 minutes have passed when I intended to leave work after an hour, an experience experts call time blindness.

A calendar alert or phone alarm now gives me a five to 15 minute warning before I need to finish. That simple prompt makes it easier to shift from one activity to the next rather than being abruptly surprised by the clock.

Slow, deep breathing is another technique that benefits both children and adults. It can reduce the fight or flight response, slow a racing heart, stabilize blood pressure and stimulate the vagus nerve, triggering the part of the nervous system associated with relaxation.

When my son becomes upset, I ask him to take three deep breaths and count to five. I slowly inhale through my nose and exhale through my mouth to demonstrate, while quietly using the same exercise to keep myself calm.

Basic physical needs matter, too. Parents know that a hungry child can become a disaster, yet I may work for hours with only coffee, then feel unfocused, exhausted and grouchy without considering that I might simply be dehydrated.

“Our physical health is integrated very much into our mental health,” Gold said. Without enough food, water or sleep, “you’re going to be meaner and crankier, and you’re going to cry when you don’t expect it, just like your kids would.”

Sometimes the most effective intervention is not complicated. A glass of water and a handful of pistachios can make a remarkable difference, even when nobody is standing nearby with a purse full of emergency snacks.