Social media can absorb time and attention, but the more revealing question may be what drives the behavior. New research suggests that a person’s attachment style is associated with problematic social media use that interferes with functioning at work or school.

Individuals who feel anxious about relationships while also trying to avoid them fall into what researchers call a fearful attachment style. In the study, this group was the most likely to report problematic social media use.

People with fearful relationship patterns may retreat to social platforms to avoid direct interactions, according to lead study author Dr. Chris Bjornsen. He is a professor of psychology at Longwood University in Farmville, Virginia.

At the other end of the findings, people who were secure in their relationships had the lowest level of problematic use. Those who avoided attachments with other people recorded the next lowest levels.

The study involved 555 Americans ages 18 through 79 and was published Wednesday in the journal PLOS One. Bjornsen stressed that the research found associations between attachment styles and different levels of problematic use but did not establish that an attachment style caused the behavior.

For readers wondering whether their own use has crossed a line, Bjornsen recommended a practical self check. Ask whether performance at work or school matches the level you want, and if it does not, consider whether social media is getting in the way.

Difficulty staying away from social media for a planned period can be another warning sign. Feelings of anxiety, depression, jitteriness or agitation when not using it can also indicate that the relationship with the platforms has become problematic, he said.

The strength of a person’s ties with friends and family also shapes the picture. “Most of my students nowadays clearly will say, and own up to the fact, that they don’t know how to talk to each other in real life,” he said.

Parents have a role in helping young adults recognize what quality relationships look like, Bjornsen said. He argued that those relationships should mainly unfold offline because offline connections tend to be less superficial.

Attachment styles form early, and people who lacked trusted figures while growing up may need to build social skills in adulthood. Kimberly Solo, a therapist based in Medfield, Massachusetts, runs She Breaks Free, a community for women in relationships with controlling people, on Mighty, and was not involved in the research.

Solo described nurturing relationships as “a skill we learn, and it’s modeled for us as children. We’re not born with that,” and encouraged people to notice how they may push others away. Examples include waiting days to answer texts or replying with very short messages.

“Awareness is the first step,” Solo said, but she also recommended concrete goals such as learning to begin a conversation. “A lot of people like to talk about themselves, so if you don’t know what to say, ask someone three questions about themselves,” Solo said.

Joining a group to meet new people can feel intimidating, Solo added. She suggested choosing an activity you already do well, such as a pottery class, so confidence is already present and opportunities to meet people can develop naturally.

People who continue to struggle with forming healthy relationships can consider seeking help from a licensed mental health provider. For problematic social media use, Bjornsen suggested considering a complete exit from the platforms.

Kara Alaimo, a professor of communication at Fairleigh Dickinson University, wrote that people she has spoken with for her research often find deleting social media apps unthinkable at first but quickly grow to love it. She said going offline creates time for movement, outdoor activity, helping others and in person contact with friends and family.

If giving up social media entirely feels impossible, Bjornsen advised dramatically reducing use and paying attention to the result. As relationships in person improve, people may have less time and desire for social media while addressing possible offline roots of problematic behavior.

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