Family conversations about senior care often happen too late, according to Tatyana Zlotsky, CEO of A Place for Mom in New York City. She said that waiting until a health emergency or sudden decline forces the issue can turn an already emotional situation into a financial and logistical crisis.

Zlotsky told Fox News Digital that 77% of the families she works with later say they wish they had acted sooner. Planning ahead gives relatives time to compare care options, understand costs, and make decisions that respect the older adult’s wishes.

“If you think about this being an extremely stressful, financially burdensome decision already, doing it under the duress of a medical emergency makes it 10 times worse,” she said. “And yet most families are still not taking action.”

She added that family caregivers lose an average of $21,000 per year from scaling back at work to care for aging relatives. The financial strain only worsens when plans are made in the middle of an emergency.

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According to Zlotsky, families often put off these discussions because they are overwhelmed. Caregiver burnout makes it hard to think ahead, and many adult children struggle to balance their own responsibilities with those of supporting a parent.

“They're already dealing with so much, it's nearly impossible for them to predict the situation sooner,” she said.

The challenge also lies in how the family dynamic shifts. “It’s a reconfiguration of a parent-child relationship,” Zlotsky noted. “The parent wants to maintain their independence... and the adult child is not sure how to have the conversation.”

That tension can lead many families to avoid addressing senior care until a fall, hospitalization, or health issue forces their hand. Zlotsky said this delay can limit choices and put unnecessary stress on everyone involved.

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The expert emphasized that early conversations offer an opportunity to identify warning signs before they become serious problems. Often, early cognitive decline shows up not through memory loss, but in subtle changes to everyday functioning.

As one example, Zlotsky described how a longtime routine—like making coffee each morning—can shift. “Maybe Mom has made the same pot of coffee for the last 20 years,” she said. “Now all of a sudden she doesn’t drink coffee anymore... the truth might be that it takes five steps to fill the coffee maker... and her executive functioning skills are failing her.”

Noticing such changes can help families recognize when to start evaluating care options. Zlotsky suggested that adult children look for patterns such as forgotten chores, misplaced items, or problems managing bills that were once handled easily.

She advised against trying to diagnose a parent but encouraged seeking professional consultation instead. “You can’t be required as a caregiver to diagnose Mom or Dad,” she said. “You really have to be able to get consultation.”

Listening is just as important as observing, she emphasized. “Your parents do have opinions on how they want to be taken care of, and what that looks like and who does it,” Zlotsky said. “It’s really about having the courage to start that conversation and engaging in it.”

Ultimately, she believes open dialogue can ease both emotional and financial pressure. “If you can break through that ice and really get to the core of what they need and want, it can make the financial and emotional journey much easier,” she said.

Taking that first step, Zlotsky said, can make all the difference between reacting to a crisis and planning for a future with dignity and shared understanding.

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