Family estrangement has become increasingly common in the U.S., but research suggests that relatives who cut ties may eventually reconnect. Texas based psychology researcher Dr. Richard Blake says willingness to change and seek common ground is central to that possibility.

A 2025 YouGov poll found that 38% of U.S. adults were estranged from at least one close family member. That included 16% who were estranged from a parent and 10% who were estranged from a child.

Among parents estranged from their children, 70% said they would consider reconciling. However, Blake emphasized that every relationship is different and that there are no guarantees.

A nationally representative study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family also found that many estrangements included a later period of renewed contact. Among adult children estranged from their mothers, 81% later became unestranged, compared with 69% of those estranged from their fathers.

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Even when relatives reconnect, the relationship may remain fragile. Blake said adult children sometimes resume contact, find that nothing has changed and then become estranged again.

Estrangement from an adult child can represent a form of “ambiguous loss,” according to Blake. In that situation, someone is gone, but hope remains that the person could return.

“You don't know if he's dead or alive and you kind of have to grieve, but you don't really know if you should be grieving, because there's hope,” Blake said while comparing the experience to having a child missing in action.

Research has documented the emotional burden that can accompany such a rupture. A 2025 study of older parents associated estrangement from an adult child with poorer wellbeing, a reduced sense of purpose and greater depressive symptoms.

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Before pursuing reconciliation, Blake said parents should make stabilizing themselves their first priority. “What I tend to recommend first is to get that person stable, have healthy habits and build a community,” he advised. “Good mental health practices are really important.”

If communication becomes possible, Blake recommends listening closely and repeating back what the other person said. Parents can acknowledge how the other person experienced the conflict before presenting a different perspective.

“Listen to the other person and then actually repeat back what they said as you understood it, and validate that,” Blake said. He added that acknowledging another person’s experience does not necessarily mean agreeing with every part of that person’s account.

Parents should also resist immediately correcting, contradicting or defending themselves. After listening, Blake said they should remain open minded about changing some aspects of their behavior when needed.

“I really tell our parents … if you're 100% perfect, great … but most parents have done something wrong, something that they want to change. And if they want a relationship with their child, they are going to have to change some things.”

Blake also warned that certain labels can make compromise more difficult during family disputes. He described terms including abuse, toxic boundaries, narcissists and gaslighting as examples of “moralized language” that can inflame conflict.

For parents confronted with those terms, Blake recommends pausing before responding. Taking time can prevent the conversation from escalating and help both sides focus on the underlying behavior rather than reacting immediately to a broad label.

Parents can then ask the other person to explain the specific conduct behind the complaint. Blake gave this example: “Okay, you've used the word toxic – can you describe the behavior or behaviors that you consider to be toxic?”

He distinguished between describing an action and its emotional impact and assigning a sweeping label to a person. Focusing on concrete actions and events can create room for discussion without turning the dispute into a judgment about someone’s entire character.

When continued communication is appropriate, Blake recommends starting with “I” statements instead of accusations. He also advises avoiding absolutes such as “you always” or “you never” when attempting to resolve a conflict.

However, reconciliation or continued contact may not be appropriate in situations involving abuse, threats or other safety concerns. Blake maintains that hope for reconciliation remains, but he acknowledged that no single formula can guarantee restoration of a fractured relationship.

“I don't think anyone can promise, ‘I can get your kids back,’” Blake cautioned. Instead, the goal is to improve the conditions for possible reconciliation while focusing on controllable steps such as healthy habits, personal stability and building a community.