Flirting may do more than signal romantic interest. Experts say it can support emotional well being when it occurs within appropriate boundaries, helping people feel attractive, confident and connected to a partner.
Mindy DeSeta, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist and mental health counselor in Miami, Florida, described flirting as a personal interaction that communicates interest in learning more about someone. She told Fox News Digital that flirting generally "feels good" and can have emotional and physiological effects.
According to DeSeta, flirting may activate brain chemicals associated with pleasure, reward and social bonding. It can also reduce levels of cortisol, the hormone connected with stress.
"It builds confidence, it's a positive social interaction that improves self-esteem," she said. "What I also hear is that people want to flirt in general because it makes them feel attractive and desired … That's a normal human feeling."
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However, DeSeta views flirting as a signal of attraction that should remain between romantic partners or people pursuing a romantic relationship. "It’s really hard to be platonic because it does release that bonding hormone," she said.
For someone who feels compelled to flirt with a person other than a partner, that impulse could be a "red flag" about the relationship, according to DeSeta. She emphasized the importance of maintaining playful romantic attention at home.
"As a sexologist, I'm a huge believer that we must date and flirt with our partner every day," DeSeta said. Relationships sometimes require a "reboot," particularly when the connection between partners has started to feel stale or hollow.
"In one marriage, you're going to get many, many marriages… You'll find people getting stale or very hollow in their relationship, and that's when you will start looking outside to get those needs met, especially in flirting, because it's something that's very easy to do."
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If flirting starts moving beyond the relationship, whether with a barista at a coffee shop or a colleague in the office, DeSeta advised stopping "immediately." She recommended redirecting that attention and energy toward the partner instead.
"Be vulnerable and go in with, ‘I miss this about us. I want to bring this back into our relationship,’" she said. "And don't forget to share, ‘This is what would make me feel attractive and desired by you.’"
Anna Elton, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical sexologist in Massachusetts, said couples experiencing intimacy struggles often miss the fun they had early in their relationships. Over time, the demands of daily life can begin taking priority.
Schedules, errands, bills and childcare may push other parts of a relationship aside, Elton said. As affection, physical touch, flirting and playfulness become less frequent, "stress, conflict and growing resentment" can take up more space.
Body changes, aging and stress can also influence how confident or desirable someone feels, according to Elton. When she asks longtime couples how they flirt or communicate erotic intentions, they often tell her, "Oh, we don’t flirt."
Creating a "new language of flirting" can help couples reconnect and create moments of intimacy, Elton said. The process does not have to begin with an elaborate romantic gesture.
Elton suggested small steps such as a hug lasting 20 seconds or a kiss lasting six seconds. Personal acts of self care, including applying lotion or following a skincare routine, may also help people "feel more connected with themselves," she said.
Still, flirtation may not always be welcomed, even within a committed relationship. DeSeta said timing and mood matter because a partner who is stressed, concentrating on work or completing a task may not be receptive.
"I’ve heard from my couples, ‘They were trying to flirt with me when I was unloading the dishwasher,’" she said. "There’s a time and place for flirting, and you have to be in the right headspace."
Partners can watch for positive body language, including leaning in, making eye contact and smiling, which may show that flirtation is welcome. At the same time, DeSeta encouraged couples to communicate directly about when flirting feels appropriate.
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