Loneliness can feel intensely personal, yet the scale of the problem suggests something broader. As many as 1 in 5 adults in the United States reported feeling lonely “a lot of the day” in 2024, while experts have continued to describe a “loneliness epidemic.”

The consequences reach beyond dissatisfaction. Loneliness is associated with poor health outcomes, and limited social connection may also constrain success, according to psychologist Dr. Angela Duckworth, the Rosa Lee and Egbert Chang Professor at the University of Pennsylvania.

In “Situated: Find the People and Places That Bring Out Your Best,” Duckworth argues that internal drive is not the only force separating successful people. Resources, environments and the people around someone also matter, a theme that pushes the loneliness conversation beyond individual willpower.

Duckworth, who also wrote the 2018 bestseller “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance,” said the modern world does not make strong social networks or happy lives easy to build. Still, people can influence which situations they enter and create more connected surroundings.

One place to begin is with technology. Screens, social media and AI chatbots are marketed as tools that can narrow the gap between desired connection and actual loneliness, but relying on them can worsen the problem, said Dr. Sherry Turkle, the Abby Rockefeller Mauzé Professor of the Social Studies of Science and Technology at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

“Technology was a great enabler of that because it offered the possibility of feeling like friendship without the demands of vulnerability, feeling like intimacy without the demands of the vulnerability,” Turkle said. “But it turns out you can’t have intimacy or friendship without vulnerability.”

Video calls, ongoing chat threads and social posts can help people stay in regular contact with loved ones, Turkle said. But they cannot completely fill a person’s social tank because community includes having people physically present through good times and bad.

AI chatbots may produce messages that look human, but Turkle described the exchange as a performance of empathy and connection rather than the genuine article. Real connection requires people who can relate, offer empathy, disagree and help someone practice the social skills needed for community.

Virtual life can also erode the skills needed to create and sustain relationships, leaving people afraid to risk rejection in person. Turkle offered a test for technology use: “Can I use this technology or this virtual experience to increase the quality of my life in the real?”

Finding a future best friend, mentor or serious partner is unlikely to happen on command because deep relationships demand time, effort and vulnerability. Dr. Lynn Bufka, the American Psychological Association’s executive lead psychologist for practice, said the many people who never become close friends still matter.

A greeting to a barista, waiting in line rather than using self checkout, talking after a pottery class or joining a run club may remain a small encounter. Yet Bufka said such moments can ease loneliness and place someone where a more important connection might eventually emerge.

Even a pleasant exchange can lift the rest of the day or keep someone receptive to meeting a person with whom they click. If nothing more happens, the interaction still exercises a social muscle that may have weakened as school, early career networking and other frequent encounters receded.

Bufka recommended building tolerance for the discomfort of leaving a comfort zone. Starting a conversation or reaching out first can be frightening when the response is uncertain, but viewing the attempt as an experiment rather than a rejection risk can make it feel more manageable.

Curiosity is another crucial skill, according to Scott Shigeoka, the Bridging Differences fellow for UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center and author of “Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World.” Online spaces can sort people by agreement and disagreement, sometimes vilifying others in the process.

Shigeoka urged people to see the individual in front of them instead of assuming that members of any group are alike. Connection does not require alignment in every way, and questions about another person’s tastes or experiences can shift attention away from personal anxiety and toward discovery.

That curiosity can begin lightly before moving deeper. Shigeoka said his travels around the country as a progressive California academic led to meaningful connections with Republican politicians and coal mining communities, showing the value of practicing conversation even when an unexpected friendship does not follow.

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Are you feeling overwhelmed or hopeless right now? Have you been withdrawing from people or activities you usually enjoy? Are you having thoughts about hurting yourself, or feeling like things will never improve?

You do not have to handle those feelings alone. Support is available, and talking to someone can make a difference. You can reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988, or by chatting online at 988lifeline.org. Trained counselors are available 24 hours a day to listen and help.

If you believe someone is in immediate danger, call emergency services right away. Even a small step, like reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or professional, can help create a path forward.